An alternative western that means what it says and says what it means
Now I’m not a chick that’s gun ho about a Western, because it isn’t my thing. But Lola White is now the second author that has made me give it a chance with fresh eyes, especially since she’s done something with the genre few successfully can do – make their own lane by defining the alternative western. Hell yeah, this ain’t just cowboys and Injuns running around waiting on John Wayne to spit and talk about some pilgrims. This is more of the seedier side of the western saga, told from the prospective of people that were never cowboys and not gearing up to be the American West hero of lore.
Outrageous Offer is that alternative western that you didn’t know you needed to read until you read it. It’s a story about people trying to make a way and a life for themselves in the still unsettled west, where lawlessness and misunderstandings create a web of deceit and theft that threaten people at every turn and yet circumstance, desperation, and ambition keep the simple people of the land lasting for another day. Now that was the nice PG rated synopsis. This motherfucker is filled with plenty of sex, plenty of thieves, and plenty of nonstop, grab you by the seat twists and turns until the end.
When the novel opens we meet Hyacinth Woodley, a down on her luck young lady who has lost everything since the death of her parents and her inheritance was ate up through the debts their estate left behind. She had one brief beam of light as a mail order bride to Ernest Horsham, but he has buyer’s remorse after hearing she busted her cherry on a solider named Johnathan whom she was in love with and who told everybody in town they smashed. Finding her used goods, Ernest backs out on their impending union and accuses her of being a witch for having two different colored eyes, destroying her reputation in her hometown. With no prospects of work and being shunned by the Jesus freaks for being a witch or a harlot, she begs for a ticket and travels to Creek Bend for a new start and hopefully some work.
Creek Bend ain’t shit. It’s a one horse, podunk ass town filled with little job prospects and diseased infested people. Here Hyacinth in a chance encounter comes across Offer O’Neal, who owns the struggling Double O Ranch. Offer got worries of his own as he’s knee deep in debt to Joe Raines, his neighbor that he’s constantly fighting about water rights with and to the detriment of his cattle and ergo short on money to cover everything he needs to make the Double O Ranch successful. After hearing her story and somewhat sympathizing with her plight, he pretty much gives her the facts of life that Creek Bend only got two types of work for a woman like her – prostitution at a diseased filled brothel or go back home.
Dead broke, Hyacinth has no idea what she’s going to do until Offer offers her to come home with him and work for her stay there. It isn’t out of the kindness of his heart either; he wants some clean pussy after a long period of celibacy and thinks her prissy uptight ass might be just the thing he needs to make life at the Double O Ranch bearable. With no other options Hyacinth reluctantly goes with him. On the way home Offer shows her exactly what kind of work he’s talking about, and Hyacinth surprisingly doesn’t mind giving him a little something and a smile.
Once she’s settled in and learns about her duties at the Double O Ranch, Hyacinth finds slowly but surely finds her place. Her and Offer get more than a little cozy too, with her looking forward to giving him the business once they come to an understanding about one another. However, their moment of peace and pleasure flips quickly as Raines bullies Offer about his debts and Ernest comes back and accusing Hyacinth of fraud, leading to an unexpected conclusion that you could say you possibly could see coming but definitely leaves you thirsting for more.
Lola White did the damn thing with this one. There are two more sequels to Outrageous Offer – Audacious Audit and Salicious Sale which are different generations of the O’Neal clan trying to hold on to the Double O, but neither of them have the fire, passion, and intrigue as the original and are, quite frankly, boring in comparison. If you’re into alternative Westerns that focus more on the struggles of the land without the cowboy hype and don’t mind the erotica elements and the misogynistic dogma of historical fiction, this one’s for you.
The novel was an Outrageous Offer indeed.
