The Wonderful World Of Articulate Madness.

Top Menu

  • Archive Of Our Own
  • OpNoobs
  • Humor Outcasts

Main Menu

  • Square One
  • Fingerprints & Other ID
  • Obituaries
  • Satirical Musings
  • Cinema Progress
  • Game Spoilerland
  • Archive Of Our Own
  • OpNoobs
  • Humor Outcasts

logo

Header Banner

The Wonderful World Of Articulate Madness.

  • Square One
  • Fingerprints & Other ID
  • Obituaries
  • Satirical Musings
  • Cinema Progress
  • Game Spoilerland
  • The recipe for bilingualism in the United States is a smooth creamy blend of Reganomics and NAFTA simmered in cocaine.

  • Faith can move mountains. After all, she is a big post-op transgendered girl.

  • Ted Cruz likes his boogers semi-chewy, but over easy.

  • You have to love the Olympics. Where else can you come home with a gold medal and the Zika Virus as mementos?

  • Being experienced has its perks, until the doctor calls back with the results of the blood work.

  • No one cares which bathroom you use when the only toilet flushing is the economy.

  • If you want to guarantee you will miss seeing the end of the world, take Amtrak.

  • Best way to cripple ISIS is MegaBus. One bus ride coast to coast is all it takes.

  • Smart asses love story mode. Dumb asses love multiplayer.

  • If Rod Serling had of lived to see Trump run, The Twilight Zone would have been the first Emmy award winning reality show.

Industry Satire
Home›Satirical Musings›Industry Satire›NoName Bus Company after blizzard bus crash; ‘Thank God it wasn’t us’

NoName Bus Company after blizzard bus crash; ‘Thank God it wasn’t us’

By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
November 2, 2016
715
0
Share:
You get what you pay for with NoName Bus Company.

You get what you pay for with NoName Bus Company.

 

By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin

MADISON, CT – NoName Bus Company officials celebrated in jubilation this morning after it was confirmed the blizzard bus crash on I-95 en route to the Mohegan Sun Casino was not one of their charters.  The bus company, which has had its own scrupulous issues with bus crashes of late, sent out heartfelt discount coupons to the riders of the crash for future discount tickets for their service.

 

Public opinion has been rough for NoName Bus Company, which operates a discount travel service domestically in participating countries.  There has also been serious scrutiny with NoName Bus Company ridership over physical and vehicular safety concerns of their passengers being grossly overlooked.  A repetitive climbing crash and arrest rate has become synonymous with service; sometimes both tend to happen at the same time during maiden voyages, leaving passengers in fear of their lives.

 

Sean Hughes, a NoName Bus Company spokesman, says this competitor’s crash is good in vindicating his company’s reputation.  “Thank God it wasn’t us.  Knock on wood.  We have our operational problems, but so does Greyhound.  Ask them how they flush toilets sometime.  We might not know rain, but we know snow.  Can’t say the same for them but we’re innocent this go round.”

 

At least 30 people were rushed to hospitals from the crash; NoName Bus Company has been proud to boast to survivors in courtesy adverts sent to their phones they have never had more than 20 people at a time needing medical attention.

 

“Those people should have been riding with us.  Paying for luxury didn’t get them much but curbside service, now didn’t it?  At least our odds are less than 20 injured every time!” said a sentimental Hughes.

 

In spite of avoiding a serious comedy of errors, NoName Bus Company was tight lipped on their most recent incidents.  Just this past week a passenger was caught transporting over 20K of heroin across state lines, and a tailgating speeding episode in Florida led to a ditch crash which totaled the bus.

 

“Everyone has a bad, inconvenient passenger from time to time, but at least we didn’t tip over in a snowstorm for tailgating behind a truck,” says Hughes.

 

Don’t Ride NoName Bus Company, a twitter page that chronicles NoName Bus Company incidents, says the company has no right to sit back and ride easy.  In an official twitter statement, they responded, “NoName Bus Company should take credit for accidents they didn’t cause.  It’s only fair for the ones they do and get away with.”

 

NoName Bus Company is set to return to its questionable crash routine tomorrow.

 

TagsBus AccidentBus CompanyGwendolyn L. Spelvin
Previous Article

Bureau of Labor Statistics Now Uses Pinball ...

Next Article

Wisconsin law makes all non-marital sex prostitution

0
Shares
  • 0
  • +
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Gwendolyn L. Spelvin

Related articles More from author

  • Boob Rash Disease is becoming an epidemic in the United States parallel to the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s. Photo: BIRDman Foundation.
    Industry Satire

    Boob Rash: A Silent Disease that only killed women until fat men got it

    November 2, 2016
    By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
  • snifffeet
    Industry Satire

    Nothing says 1st World Greatness like Craigslist

    November 2, 2016
    By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
  • Game Rants

    A Really Bad Afterschool Special: Mind Games Is Not Even Worth Giving To Your Worst Enemy

    November 4, 2016
    By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
  • Chug-A-Lugging to reach a student’s highest potential is the latest breakthrough in learning.  Photo: US Department of Common Core.
    Industry Satire

    Reaffirming Common Core Kindergarten Curriculum With Drinking Games

    November 2, 2016
    By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
  • Man’s best friend is getting in the way of man’s best free extra-curricular activities.
    Political Satire

    Michigan dog law makes orgasms an illegal felony

    November 2, 2016
    By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin
  • Little Bo-Peep actually was just poaching her sheep on the cheap. Artwork: Melo Guarnera.
    Industry Satire

    Little Bo-Peep arrested; charged with sheep tail poaching

    November 2, 2016
    By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin

Leave a reply Cancel reply

You may interested

  • Game Rants

    It’s Sad When A Developer Draws First Blood.

  • Game Rants

    Digital Homicide: A Common Core Game Developer

  • Man’s best friend is getting in the way of man’s best free extra-curricular activities.
    Political Satire

    Michigan dog law makes orgasms an illegal felony

Click One. It May Bite.

  • Square One
  • Fingerprints & Other ID
  • Obituaries
  • Satirical Musings
  • Cinema Progress
  • Game Spoilerland

Throwback Thursdays

  • Terms Of Usage
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
  • About
  • Home
© Copyright 2016 Articulate Madness. All rights reserved.