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Super House Of Dead Ninjas Is For Sheeple

Super House Of Dead Ninjas Is For Sheeple

By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin

When it comes to gaming in general, Adult Swim isn’t exactly at the top of the Triple A title pool.

However, they have made the effort to branch out and release a few titles to the PC platform of lesser known entries.  And that would have been great, had they not released subpar titles designed to sucker the lowest common denominator into impulse sales off their name.

Super House Of Dead Ninjas definitely is catering to the lackluster gamer who knows no better.

Mostly known for their baroque late night programming, Adult Swim’s jaded interest in game development seems more like a cheap marketing ploy for their top shows.  Initially, their market has been in mobile development, capitalizing on volunteer ideas from idiots trying to garner fifteen minutes of fame on an “original idea”.

I’ll put to the side Adult Swim preying on the gullible with the contract from development hell found on their website or the delusions of grandeur they give wannabees of being the next hot shot thing to hit the industry since Shigeru Miyamoto, the creator of Super Mario Bros. for a second, and just focus on the trash release at hand here.

When a developer is releasing titles that make Digital Homicide look like a top rate developer house, it’s time to re-evaluate what your development house wants to be when it grows up.  Let’s start with the less than stellar Super House Of Dead Ninjas.

Without a doubt from the load screen, Adult Swim’s bar of excellence is dropped so low one would think that the fanboys and fangirls of their PC titles are idiots, sheeple, and slacktavists that have no taste in gaming and want to appear cool and hip to be on their nighttime channel’s jock, in hopes of getting a cameo shout out between commercials.

The lazy programming hits PC players from jump, as they nicely notice lack of controller support.  And that would be fine, had the options screen not directed proudly to google in a suggested third party piece of software for players to utilize if playing a side scroller platformer with a controller is considered important.

Like, seriously, that is the developer’s job to implement in the programming, not the players!!!

After all, few players are going to risk installing unknown software off the suggestion of a network that green lit anything from Tim, Eric, or John C. Reilly.  Few would put it past them to play a practical joke and potentially crash countless OS systems for something to brag about, now is it?

Adding insult to injury is that the third party software doesn’t provide controller support directly; rather it emulates keyboard controls instead that have to be mapped to the controller.  Whether this is automatic or manual is still up for discussion, but is absolutely an annoying time consumer testing configurations during what should be physical play time.

Those brave enough to press play are faced with a travesty of a game, where the protagonist motivation is to race to the bottom, literally and figuratively to get through the never ending house with no way to backtrack up or behind.

A boss battle here and there does little to break the repetitive recycling level after level.

With a controller that actually had functionality, that could be a great alternative after completion.  Armed with a keyboard, trying to play beat the clock leaves little to the imagination as the primary motivation of the title, especially considering the entire game can be beat in under fifteen minutes.

Also lacking in motivation is the absence of a storyline; the protagonist does nothing but jump and drop on a race with itself to the bottom only to fight boss after boss as fast as possible, avoiding enemies in order to do so quickly without rhyme or reason.  Goodbye traditional power ups, extra lives, and a point system that makes sense.  The clock is ticking now, so have fun!

Outside of different levels changing colors after so many drops ala Bubble Bobble, there is no real distinction from one level to the next; every single time you die or restart the level layout changes, leaving you with no brain muscle memory to remember enemy paths or quick routes.

But hey, at least the idiots can rejoice in having a level editor to make more mindless, never ending bottomless pits for hours of thoughtless engagement just for bragging rights on an Adult Swim forum.  Whoo hoo!

Super House Of Dead Ninjas could have easily been a send up to the SNES era of gaming had it been developed to the fullest potential by Adult Swim.  Instead, it comes off as an unfunny, uninspired lost level parody of NES era hit Bubble Bobble with a dash of Castlevania with plagiarized titles from Street Fighter.

Stick a fork in it Adult Swim.  Stay in your lane, get your television house in order, and license properties from reputable sources before you open up a gaming development without proper support.

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