This guide will help you in your curiosity in pursuing a possible truck driver career. An effective assessment will help you to gain an invaluable understanding of the field, related interests, acquired skills and aptitudes. Each point of reference is designed to provide the most comprehensive updated information available with feedback from anonymous but verified industry professionals to give reference points on real expectations within the field. 
 
By Gwendolyn L. Spelvin

Has the economy had a profound effect on your career?  If you have been forced out of your industry, either by automation or forced retirement, it may be time to think about new divesting opportunities in the improved federal deregulated truck driving field.
 
Get in on the ground floor before manless trucks become the standard in transportation!
 
Opportunities are abounding on the plantation as driving trucks is picking cotton on a field that happens to have wheels.  All you have to do is embrace the hard labor from can’t see in the morning to can’t see at night.  Don’t worry about enjoying any downtime with family and friends, it’s overrated anyway.
 
Ignore the cautious risk-averse voice in your head; it’s perfectly normal to be ridden harder than a stallion at a horse ranch.  Your faceless dispatcher will serve as your virtual overseer to ensure your load gets to where it’s supposed to be or make an example of you to the others.  Nothing will stimulate you more than standing in line and waiting for work with thousands of expendable peers.
 
The first step to get you well on your way to the plantation is picking the right master.  Options vary between a third rate for profit school or an established company with experience selling you down the river.  If you experienced a sudden tightening in your gut at even the thought of signing on the dotted line for loan money, don’t be.  The blood on the contract will dry quickly.
 
After familiarizing yourself with your master’s rules, you will be shown your slave quarters at the rear of the truck and sent off into the fields.  Let your expendability work for you!  Disassociate yourself with union wages, labor laws, and honest day’s pay for work propaganda.  That’s for the unemployed.  Be content with the satisfaction you are ready to be sold to the lowest bidder on the trucking post block right alongside fresh CDLs and illegal immigrants.  Good associates indeed!
 
There’s no such thing as inclimate weather, ever!  Tornado, derecho, hurricane, ice storm, or blizzard, you will be out on the road.  Safety regulations and consequences be damned – that will always be your problem.  Picking cotton in the field with wheels will always be all seasons.
 
Being good company property has its own career advantages.  Anything happens in the cotton fields on wheels is always your fault. Insurance coverage is for the truck alone, giving you the freedom you’ve always wanted on the open road.  No fault accidents, mechanical truck failures, unforeseen traffic delays, and missing weigh stations will all come out of your salary.  Don’t worry, your master will never support your innocence.  Anything short of ultimate perfection is your ass and dispatch is the lawnmower.   
 
The most rewarding part of your career is the pay!  You start off at a generous fifteen cents a mile, payable only when the big wheels are rolling.  Today’s truck driver doesn’t have to worry about benefits, sleeping stops, eating, bodily function elimination, traffic delays, unloading/reloading the shipments interfering with their livelihoods.  Five dollars an hour for seventy hours a week can’t be beat in today’s economy! Overseer dispatchers will keep their eye on you every minute.  Electronic logs and dash cameras are the latest in new innovations for transportation companies to keep track of their slaves at all times to ensure they are constantly working without in person supervision.  Such technology gives real-time automated printouts to ensure slave honesty from padding paper logs with any extra miles or other amenities to get a higher payout. 
 
So make the right decision, get your legs behind the wheel and turn your career around.  There is a shortage of truck drivers willing to work underpaid, and transportation companies will do whatever they need to do to ensure you get the least amount of money for the maximum amount of work.  Truck driving is a time honored tradition since the industrial revolution.  As the sole exploitation of a great nation, goods can’t get to customers without cutting you out first.

Join the force of the last vestiges of job security left in the country.  Don’t worry, there is no such thing as long haul truckers.  Freight trains carry those.  Your time will be spent on the road in God knows where 600-mile radius getting no pay for the majority of the work you do.

So let’s get the wheels on down the highway, shall we?